How Much Is Your Child’s Life Worth?

How much is your child’s life worth? £6,000? £18,000? £30,000. A lifetime of debt? Bankruptcy?

If your child was kidnapped, how much would you pay to get them back?


How can you put a price on the life of your child?

In the UK it costs the NHS an average of £3,435 to put a couple through assisted fertility treatment. But despite NICE guidelines (to offer at least 3 cycles), most couples are only eligible for one cycle, if any at all. Instead, IVF is a low-priority. It’s an elective treatment. A luxury. It’s not life-threatening…apparently. Despite a recent survey finding that 42% of people undergoing fertility treatment have experienced suicidal thoughts.*

There’s only one alternative. But private health care is a whole other world.

Private fertility clinics charge not what it costs to deliver the treatment, but what they think the market will bear.  And when you’re selling a dream, you can pick any number you want.  Different clinics with different prices, and better/worse statistics, options for extra tests, and additional treatments.  There’s no Which guide Best Buy, and unless you have a medical degree, no way of really understanding whats necessary or not.  But no one’s going to choose the budget option anyway.  No one will refuse that extra test, that extra cost.  What if that’s the one thing that makes this time stick? It’s an easy sell.


Because how can you put a price on the life of your child?



With only a 25% chance of success (in the best of circumstances), its an expensive gamble. But when the reward is a life. A future. A family…

It’s hard concept to imagine. From a privileged position of parenthood. It’s easy to forget that the yearning for a family doesn’t ever go away. There isn’t any life experience to ‘fill that void’. And it’s a very long life to live.

So, you pay anything, to anyone, who offers a smidgen of hope. You will try everything. You’ll take out loans and open multiple credit cards. Pay with money you don’t have for a child you might not have either.


Because how can you put a price on the life of your child?



And one of the most heart wrenching decisions? Amidst all the stress and worry. The strained emotions and fragile mental health.

Would you like to half the cost of treatment by giving away half of your eggs?


Imagine not being able to afford to keep all of your eggs.

Imagine having your cycle fail, and knowing that someone out there could be pregnant with a part of you.


How can two so utterly opposite things be so intrinsically entwined? Financial amounts that aren’t come by easily. That require a clear, analytical head. And a deep, burning dream. A biological drive. Something so fundamentally connected to most womens’ sense of identity.  In what crazy reality is it okay for a woman to never get her chance to be a mother, because she doesn’t have enough money?


Because how can you put a price on the life of your child?


toddler counting money






*Hopefully I haven’t offended anyone with this post. Just to clarify a few points. Not all women want children and that is okay. I have nothing against egg donation (when its not linked to a donor’s own conception journey).





1 Comment

  1. Mary
    October 14, 2017 / 5:15 pm


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